Shadows on the Wall 
Chapter 7 – Decisions and Destinies 

By Nancybe 


(Voiceover by Joan Bennett:) “On this night, the matriarch of the
Collins’ family remembers decisions made long ago as well as those
made in the present and wonders where those decisions will lead.
Another woman on the Great Estate questions decisions she must
make in the near future. Neither is aware that their destinies await
them this night in the form of a mysterious stranger who has presented
himself as a distant member of the family…” 




Liz Stoddard pondered the gilt-edged frame in her hands and
reflected on happier times. “Happier times?” she murmured to herself
with a small, sad smile. “Have there ever really been happier times at
Collinwood?” 

She brought the faded photograph closer to the light in an effort to
recapture some of the memories. A dark-haired beauty smiled back
at her, and in a rush, Liz could feel the soft ocean breeze that had
riffled through her hair the summer day when the picture had been
taken. She could smell the faint scent of salt air, the warmth of the
sun’s rays, could hear the sweet laughter that rang like bells from a
church steeple. The memories tugged hard at her heart and were so
bittersweet that she wondered whether they were worth the pain at
all. The vivid recollection of that day gradually faded back into gray
shadows (*where they belong,* she thought) and once again, she was
only holding an old black and white photograph that she probably
should never even have kept. A photo of a young woman who had
met with nothing but sadness and tragedy. She abruptly set the photo
on the edge of her vanity and turned away. 

Had it been a mistake to bring the girl here after all? She had tried to
protect her for as long as she could, to keep her away from this
palace of lies and deceit. But now that the girl had become a young
woman and was no longer a child, Liz had not been able to stay away
from her any longer. The girl had a right to be at Collinwood, to the
advantages of being a Collins (as shallow as those seemed some
days) even if she never *did* know the truth. Maybe she would be
the family’s salvation after all – especially given the way Carolyn was
turning out… And Vicki seemed so normal, so responsible, untainted
perhaps because she had not been raised at Collinwood. 

Elizabeth wandered about her room, idly picking up an item here or
there: a book she had been reading, a hairbrush, a scarf. She knew
this room so well; it had been her refuge throughout the years. It had
been so long since she had shared it with anyone that she couldn’t
remember it being anything other than *her* room, and its décor
reflected her personality and influence alone. Tonight she saw nothing,
however, but memories of the past, of decisions made, regretted,
questioned. But she *had* done the right thing all those years ago.
There had been no other choice, not for Louise or for the baby.
Louise had been quite mad by then (*a family trait? * Liz’s mind
wondered) and with the rumors about the father… 

Liz shuddered as the time once again melted until she felt that she had
shed her current skin and was once again the young mistress of
Collinwood. She could hear the conversation as if it was taking place
all over again; she even mouthed the words as they came back to her.


“Louise, you know that you cannot keep this child! We must make
arrangements before it arrives. You’re just a child yourself. It will be
easier that way, dear…” She heard her words echoing in the drawing
room. 

“Why? Why are you always trying to run my life? Just like Father!
I’ve never been allowed to make my own decisions, to go where I
please-” stormed the young woman before her. 

“Well, based on what has happened, doesn’t it appear that we were
correct in trying to protect you? You’ve always been
so…naïve…Louise. We felt it was best-” 

“Best? Best for whom? Father? You, Roger? The Collins’ name?
That’s it, isn’t it? The scandal, the shame. God forbid a Collins should
appear to be mortal! Well, I’ve had enough of being a Collins. I *am*
going to have this baby and keep it, too. You aren’t going to stop me
this time, Elizabeth.” 

The young woman turned to leave but was halted by a firm hand
gripping her arm. 

“Louise, you know that it’s more than just the scandal for the family.
Your pregnancy hasn’t even been...normal. You’ve been so ill the
whole time, and the doctors can find no reason for it. And then of
course, there is *him*.” This time it was Elizabeth who turned away.
She didn’t want to even speak of him. The thought alone that her
young sister was carrying *his* child blanketed her skin with
gooseflesh. 

“What about him? I love him, Elizabeth, but maybe you can’t
understand that! Maybe you’re just jealous! Is that what this is really
all about?” 

“Oh, darling, don’t be ridiculous. You know the rumors as well as I
do. I don’t want to talk about it, Louise. I don’t want to even have to
say it out loud. You know what I am talking about.” 

The eyes that faced her were wild with hatred and madness. How
could this be the beautiful young girl who had brightened the dark
shadows that reigned at Collinwood? The one whose sweet singing
had been able to bring a smile to even old Jamison’s face? 

“No, Elizabeth, I have *no* idea what you are referring to. Why
don’t you tell me exactly what you mean?” the young woman
shrieked. 

“Oh, Louise, you know what I am talking about. The rumors, the
stories about him. He is the father of your child – you admit that. You
know what the townspeople whisper – that he has some sort of
powers… that there is something about him…” 

It was these words that had driven the young woman over the edge of
hysteria, and she had launched herself at her older sister with the cry
of a banshee. Servants had pulled her from the scratched and
bleeding Elizabeth, and in the end, the decision about the baby had
been completely taken from the young mother’s hands because she
died at the moment that her child was born. Elizabeth had made the
hardest decision of her life that night as she sent the child off to an
orphanage and told everyone who knew of her sister’s pregnancy –
including their own brother – that the baby had died along with her
mother. 

At least this was the way that Elizabeth preferred to remember the
events of those days long ago. 

With a quick snap of her head, she found herself back in her room
with the angry words she had recalled swirling to a dying echo around
her. It was 1967, and for better or for worse, she had finally brought
Victoria home. Why had she done it? she questioned herself again.
Why had she felt so compelled to bring her here? But she *knew* the
reason; she just did not want to admit it to herself. It was too
disturbing. She had done it because she had been *told* to return the
young woman to Collinwood. Elizabeth did not know who had told
her or why, but she had been overcome by the feeling that she must
bring Louise’s daughter home. At the time, the feeling had been so
strong that she had not even felt that she had a choice in the matter -
so she had proceeded to make the arrangements and to look forward
to seeing her niece again for the first time in over twenty years. 

But now… things had become so strange. David had been in the
West Wing and was acting like a normal, well-behaved boy, and God
knew, that that was *anything* but normal. Laura was back and that
could only mean trouble. And those animals… 

Perhaps it *had* been a mistake to bring Vicki here. Perhaps the
curses that seemed to haunt the Collins family would be brought down
on her head. Perhaps she would have been better off never having
come to Collinwood at all. 

And then there was the matter of her father, what he had been.
Surely, that could not have extended to his child. Could it? 

A sharp knock at the door made Liz jump. She hurried to the door
and met the anxious eyes of her housekeeper. But before the servant
could open her mouth to deliver her message to her employer, the
picture frame hastily placed on the vanity crashed to the floor. 


******************** 


“There’s company downstairs. A cousin of Mrs. Stoddard’s from
England. You should come see this for yourself!” Mrs. Johnson was
saying excitedly. 

Julia Hoffman gave the housekeeper a wry look. A cousin? After all
that went on at Collinwood, this silly woman wanted her to come
running to see a mere *cousin*? 

“Mrs. Johnson-” she started to say, but was interrupted by the shrill
sound of the telephone. 

“Excuse me, Dr. Hoffman. If I don’t get that, no one will,” exclaimed
the harried woman as she hurried to pick up the extension in the
upstairs hall. 

“Well, you *are* the housekeeper in this place, aren’t you?” Julia
muttered under her breath. Sarah reminded her of one of those
secretaries who has been with a company so long that no one dares
to cross her or even ask her to do secretarial work any more. 

“It’s for you, Doctor. A Tom Jennings, he says,” Mrs. Johnson called
out in a loud voice. Julia winced for Tom as the woman put the
receiver down with an indelicate thud. 

“People calling on the phone, coming to the door at all hours of the
day or night,” the housekeeper mumbled as she shambled toward the
stairs. “How’s a body supposed to get anything done?” 

Julia’s mouth curved into a crooked smile as she watched the woman
walk away. *If only she worked for me!* she thought wickedly
before reaching for the waiting receiver. 

“Hello, Tom? Is something wrong? Is it Amy?” Julia asked, worry in
her tone for the little girl. 

“No, no, Julia. Amy’s just fine. Been moving her furniture around
again, but a very beautiful psychiatrist I know assures me that that is
therapeutic. Noisy, but therapeutic.” She could see him grinning
boyishly at the other end of the line, and she grinned back. “It’s me,
Julia. I miss you. I want to know when I can see you.” 

Julia sucked in her breath. She had thought maybe she would be able
to hide – from everything – at Collinwood. Apparently not. “Tom,
look, you shouldn’t even be calling me here, not unless there is
something I need to know about Amy. I told you I needed a break
from things-” 

“You told me you needed a break from work, darling,” he interjected.
“Do you need a sabbatical from me, too?” His tone was teasing, but
she knew him well enough to hear the worry behind his words. 

“No, Tom…” she started slowly. “Not a sabbatical, dear man, but
well, things have been getting a little intense lately, and I need some
time. And I’m not sure our relationship is good for Amy, either. I
don’t want to confuse her-” 

“It’s because I mentioned the “M” word, isn’t it, Julia?” he sighed.
“I’ve scared you. I’m sorry, it’s just that you mean so much to me. If
that’s not what you want to hear right now, please just forget I said it,
okay? Just tell me I can see you. I promise I won’t bring it up again
until you’re ready. All right? Please?” 

She could picture him, standing there holding the phone, his eyes wide
and pleading. It was always hard for her to resist him when he was
like this. “Oh, Tom,” she said, and it was her turn to sigh. “Okay, how
is dinner tomorrow night? Soon enough for you?” 

“No, but it’ll have to do,” he said exuberantly. “Should I pick you
up-” 

“No, I’ll meet you at our favorite place,” she said quickly.
“Sevenish?” 

“You bet! See you then. Julia, I lo-” 

He was doing it again. “Goodnight, Tom,” she said firmly as she
replaced the receiver. 

Julia headed back to her room, momentarily forgetting the infamous
cousin from England that Mrs. Johnson had her panties in a twist
over. How had she gotten herself into this relationship with Tom
anyway? He was so young. She was beginning to feel like that woman
in that movie that had just come out. What was her name? Mrs.
Robinson? Julia Hoffman had never pictured herself with a younger
man, especially not such a good-looking younger man. She had never
paid much attention to relationships at all to tell the truth. She had
been devoted to her career, and for much of her life, that had been
enough. 

And then she had met Tom Jennings. 

He had pursued her as no man ever had. It had been a nuisance at
first and then flattering and then finally it became more of a nuisance to
ignore him than to agree to go out with him. She had been sure that
one dinner together, and he would realize that they had nothing in
common. And she had been equally sure that he would bore her to
tears. But to her surprise, neither of those things had happened. He
had thoroughly charmed her, and he was more smitten with her than
ever. Unlike her colleagues and other men she had known, he was not
threatened by her career or her intelligence. In fact, he seemed to
revel in their conversations and was never bored by what she had to
say. He treated her like a woman but never patronized her, and
unused to this treatment, she found herself falling under his spell. So
much so that when he had mentioned marriage recently, she had been
scared, really and truly scared. Scared because she had been tempted
to say yes, and she had never been so tempted before. 

She had needed time away, to think, to separate herself from the
situation. And now he had called, and she was going to see him again.
He had promised not to push her, but she knew that he would. What
she didn’t know was what she was going to do about it. 

Julia sat down heavily on her bed and put her fingers to her temples.
This was giving her a headache. She needed to think about something
else for tonight; she would deal with Tom Jennings tomorrow. 

It was then that she heard the voice, a voice that drifted up to her
room on velvet wings. A deep voice with a smooth, rich cadence like
warm honey. A voice that she felt she could listen to for eternity and
never tire of. A voice she could wrap herself in like a soft blanket on a
windy night. It touched her in a way she had never been touched
before, and she was drawn to it. 

Julia opened her door as if in a trance, and the voice became clearer,
richer, even more seductive. Standing on the landing, she gazed down
to see Elizabeth in conversation with an elegant looking man with dark
hair and a flowing cape. The Collins’ cousin, it had to be. No wonder
Mrs. Johnson had been so excited. 

Julia descended the stairs slowly, keeping her eyes trained on the
handsome stranger, her ears hungry to hear more of his alluring voice.
And when he glanced up and met her gaze with his fathomless dark
eyes, she felt the whisper of unseen wings across her skin, making her
want to wrap her arms about herself to keep from shivering
uncontrollably. 

And if at that moment, someone had mentioned her young suitor to
her, she would have answered, “Tom who?” 

To be continued…